To or Not To?

Ever reach that point in life where you get an idea or inspiration that you would like to run with, but the rational side of your brain says "No, no, no that won't work." Perhaps your inner monologue doesn't happen like that. Maybe the rational side of you isn't such a party pooper, but mine is. It is not a fan of giant leaps, potential failures, or going outside its comfort zone. To you that might seem sad, to me, it's been my life. I tend not to try things I won't succeed at. I usually play it somewhat safe. I make calculated decisions (If you know me you might not agree with all this, but note, before making any decisions I process internally, and once I decide yes- I do leap forward. Only after careful calculating it all though.)

So, enough with prefacing my lack of a free spirit. It has come to my attention that I am in need of jumping. Leaping out. Trying something new. It helps a friend and fellow food/craft/etc junkie of mine jokingly said that we should start a blog. Immediately I said back, "we should." And I was serious. We have breakfast together every Friday morning and try new recipes. And when we aren't together, we are texting pics of ideas of crafts or things to bake and cook. We have tons of crafty and food savvy friends. We SHOULD blog about our life. And lucky for me, my wonderful (and I must mention handsome) husband COMPLETELY supports this wacky idea.

If you know me, you know I am TERRIBLE at keeping up with blogging. I love blogs. Love to read them. I have ideas of stuff to share, but like journaling, I am too lazy to normally get around to it. Hopefully having a co-conspirator will be motivating.

And yes, I get that this isn't something that is life changing. I am not leaving my job. I am not moving to another country. BUT it is big for me. I don't share my creations (other than on Instagram, but that is because it can make anything look cool). And I am not sure that I (well, WE actually) will have anything that anyone wants to read (lovely insecurities). But I still thinks it's worth it.

So here's to it.

Ten Things I've Learned Since Being Engaged....

Everything in life deserves a "10 things...." list. Engagement is no different. It too, deserves a list of things learned. Granted I have been engaged for just short of two weeks, but I have already learned more than I did my freshman year of college (jk... I learned a lot then too)

1. Getting used to wearing a ring takes almost no time. And when I don't have it on.... my finger feels lonely!

2. Once you become engaged, you somehow become needier

3. When it comes to wedding planning, you have a choice to make: it can either be the most stressful time of your life.... or you can enjoy it! If marriage represents our relationship with Christ, then nothing about the ceremony should stress me out. Starting a relationship with Christ was the most freeing thing I did. I want this to be too.

4. Boys have no idea when it comes to weddings, cost, flowers, timing, dresses, food, etc, etc, etc

5. My incredible fiance is willing to listen to EVERYTHING about weddings, cost, flowers, timing, dresses, food, etc etc etc

6.If you tell God that you want the wedding and ceremony to be what He wants it to be- be prepared for whatever he asks you to do!

7. Just because it is the norm to have a big extravagant wedding, doesn't mean that a smaller beach wedding isn't more of YOUR style. Find what makes YOU happiest- and do that.

8. Everyone has some advice to give you about wedding planning.

9. It pays to have talented friends like I do. So many wonderful people in my life will get to share in many parts of this occasion in my life- from the planning to the reception- my friends have talents that will contribute to this being one of the most amazing days in my life!

10. The most important part is not the ceremony, the reception, or even the dress- it is about marrying your best friend, and being more of the person God created you to be because of them.

Beachin' It

Oh joyful day! It's my third day here in St. Simons and I am loving every minute of my "SB '10." Things I have realized thus far:

1) In order to really BE where you are, you must

have no other appointment following. No other thing you must go do, or place to be, etc etc. It is THEN that you can fully enjoy the moment you are in. Example- Lisa and I have twice gone down to this grassy patch near a park that overlooks the ocean and just sat. Both times we were utterly at peace. We had no other place we had to be. Nothing else to do. And we both were able to fully enjoy the moment.

How often are we able to fully enjoy the moment we are in?

2)There are certain meals that only a female will enjoy. Thus far Lisa and I have made the following delectable dishes:

Sweet potatoes with a warm black bean and tomato salad inside them, topped with a dollop of sour cream and fresh cilantro. Arugula salad with orzo, northern beans, tomatoes, sauteed shrimp with a lemon and olive oil dressing. Couscous with kalamata olives, tomatoes, feta cheese, cilantro and a lemon and olive oil drizzle. The male gender would scoff at these dishes for meals. We, however, have eaten every bite of our healthy and delicious fare. We both realize these recipes cannot be made when we are around menfolk or the picky eater.

3)Weathermen are often mistaken. Every day has brought sun and warmth. We were told to expect otherwise. We are glad they were wrong.

4)Ducks might be the cutest little guys ever. Lisa's left shoe makes a noise like a duck quacking when she walks and these guys were curious as to if she were human.... or their long lost mama

What am I doing?

So I am now stealing this from my friend Lollie, who stole it from one of her friends... I think in this instance it is actually okay to "steal"

seeing // the quasi snow outside that I wish was sticking

reading // Women of the Bible by Ann Spangler and Jean E. Syswerda and attempting to read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

listening // the sounds of Tom and Jerry cartoons on the TV

traveling // to Saint Simons Island on SUNDAY with by wonderful friend Lisa for a week!

praying // for my job interview with YL Thursday, Lisa's insane work load, my little nephew Will

planning // what to pack for vacation, what to do while we are there, and what restaurants we will visit...

wearing // the dressiest thing I have put on in a while... a casual green dress, cardigan, comfy boots

anticipating // traveling to Colorado with YL kids to go to Frontier Ranch this summer, Will getting out of the NICU and going home/HOLDING baby Will for the first time, the arrival of my niece in April!

loving // that I get to go to dinner with my roomie Kelly tonight

watching // Tom and Jerry cartoons with Noah

What are you doing??

Time Flies

I remember being a little kid and thinking it took forever for summer to arrive every year. One of my aunts told me that time goes by faster as you get older. I remember not understanding that then. Now, however, I am regularly amazed at how fast time seems to pass. Just yesterday it hit me that it was February and how in this short month, a whole lot is about to happen. But before I go to the future, I want to reminisce over the past few months.

"work"

So these are the two precious guys I get to hang out with, love on, and goof off with every day. Caleb (on the left) loves to play sports. Football is his current passion. Please note, that a 4, almost 5 year old, understands and remembers more about football than I do. His memory and

understanding continue to leave me speechless, and at times slightly embarrassed that he can school me on what is going on in sports. He is probably the most well behaved kid I have ever come in contact with. AND get this- he chooses fruit for snack food. Really? I was totally a butter popcorn, Little Debbie, Oreos kind of kid so I admire his love of fruit. Noah (on the right) is almost 2 (literally almost, it is next week). I love how incredibly sweet he looks in this picture. Children when they fall asleep look so serene. Daily I am amazed by all that he is learning! It is like I am hanging out with this little sponge who soaks in all the world has to offer with an eager enthusiasm. His excitement for the small things and love for simple moments spent reading a book or building with legos is a gentle reminder that kids get life so much more than we adults. He has recently discovered the word STOP. He loves using it. I am just holding out that he won't learn WHY for a bit longer!

young life

These are some of the kids I get to love on in Young Life. This was taken this past summer while we were at Saranac, a camp in upstate New York. I do not know if I can convey in words how much I love loving on high school kids. The Lord has filled me with His love for them and with that love comes heartbreak, joy, and everything in between. We live in a completely broken world and get close enough with a high schooler, and the effects of that could not be more evident. Girls have taken me in their confidence to tell me of their broken home lives, their unhealthy attachments to boyfriends, their doubt in the existence of God, and many more disheartening things. In return, I get to love them through it and point them towards the creator of the universe who loves them more than they can fathom. It is not all bad mind you, I have had some of the most amazing conversations this year as well. God is doing incredible things in this generation. I have girls who get the gospel and are living it out far better than I could ever imagine! There are times when I feel like I am talking with a friend my age, not a 17 year old! How exciting it is to see a young girl ON FIRE for the Lord. Living out her faith and NOT conforming to the ways of the world! I feel blessed to get to share in what the Lord is doing in the lives of young people.

the future?

With all my heart, I still want to pursue ministry full time. I am going to be applying for Young Life staff in the following weeks. With the state of the economy I have no idea if I will get hired to work for this non profit. I am putting full trust in God to direct me where He needs me. I love, love, love the boys I nanny for. The thought of leaving them makes my heart hurt. This family has loved me as if I am one of them. THAT is rare. They show me Jesus on a daily basis and I consider it an honor to take care of these kids. All this being said, I have no idea what the future holds. Either path will bring joy and sadness, but whichever it is, THAT is where I am supposed to be.

Ten Things (for me) to do in Twenty Ten

Hello Twenty Ten! I resolved to NOT make any resolutions this year (knowing they are all doomed to be broken, and I am anti feeling guilt over that). Instead, I am composing a Top Ten List of things I want to do in Twenty Ten. This is much more fun than a resolution which always seems to end up feeling like a negative thing in my life. And let's be real, I am a List Lover. I make list after list and always feel so much better afterwards (I blame it on being a visual learner). Anywho... here is my Top Ten in no certain order. Will I do them all... who knows... but making a list of them sure is fun (for me).

1.Be a blogger, not just a blog reader.

I can't promise you anything interesting, but at least you can know what's up in my little world.

2. Read TEN life giving books this year.

Ten isn't a huge number. I'm completely low balling it here, but looking at the number of books I read in '09, ten is a great place to start.

3. Fight aggressively for my alone time with God.

I fully believe that when life gets busy, your quiet time seems to be the first to go. My life tends to stay on the busy side, and with change in jobs and YL night time QTs are nigh to impossible. It is time to switch things up.

4. Learn something new

Now this one is not meant to be daunting. It could be anything- a new hobby, a new recipe, etc. The idea is for me to step out and try something I am not familiar with.

5. SLOW DOWN

Don't be fooled by this one- I am not referring to the speed at which I talk. THAT will probably always be a wee bit on the fast side. I am talking about the fact that I seem to have a condition where I think I need to do/be apart of everything. It IS okay to miss out. To relax. To take some time for ME.

6. Budget.

I have already began this endeavor. I am following some of Dave Ramsey's advice. Only using cash, while hard, makes you really aware of what you are spending money on!

7. Counting Sheep

Going to bed late, and getting up early when you are a busy girl, tends to lead to excess caffeine consumption (at least with me), and beautiful bags under my eyes. In an effort to be a happier person, getting some good sleep is something I want to do this year.

8. Try NEW restaurants!!!

This list is supposed to be fun. For me- FOOD- is pretty darn fun. While I am still gonna budget, a new restaurant every once in a while will be a great way to treat myself!

9. Attempt to keep a clean room...

For those of you who don't know me well, you probably don't know this about me- I keep a messy room. I will do my best to keep every other part of a house clean, but sacrifice my room. I think it's because I like keeping common spaces clean, but my room is my little sanctuary. It is where I have my QTs and where I sleep and when it's messy, it makes me annoyed.

10. Exercise

I really didn't want to put this on here... it just feels cliche. Ugh. BUT- I miss being active. I have learned that I am not always a very disciplined person. A lot on this list is an attempt at helping teach myself just that, while still giving myself grace to mess up sometimes. This year, I want to learn to love to exercising (currently I detest most of it, unless it's a sport).

Okay, so there they are. Maybe they weren't what you expected. Maybe they were. Maybe these are a bit ambitious. Only time will tell. What I do know, is that the longer I put these things off, the harder it will be to learn to do them.

Reverting Back To Childhood- Bueno!

It is week three being Laura the nanny. I feel like in my short existence I have worn a few different hats in life. Laura the accident prone youth (no lie, broke the same ankle three times in a year and a half). Laura the talkative (hehe, I still wear that hat from time to time). Laura the nerd (I used to be the biggest teacher's pet ever... sigh. Now I am just a nerd for no reason). Laura the college student. Laura the Young Life leader. Laura the food scientist.

Laura the nanny is very different. I get to be a kid again. No lie. I watch Noggin. I have snack time. I go to preschool

(well, just to pick up Caleb). I have nap time (well... Noah naps, I watch TV and do YL work). Life is much simpler.

I even get to do cool things like take Caleb to the aquarium. There is something so fascinating about how a kid can be captivated by the smallest thing. When we first got to the aquarium Caleb was immediately in awe of the fish. Okay, I can't lie, fish are really cool, but he though EVERY one was the most amazing thing. Even the not-as-cool fish were UHmazing in his eyes. It makes you wonder, what happens to us as we grow up? When did we stop seeing each new thing in front of us as something to be in awe of, and

instead just take things for granted? When did I start going through life carrying a million worries around with me, missing all of the beauty that I get to experience

every day? Heck, why didn't I realize how awesome nap time and snack time were? Okay, I have always loved snack time, nap time was the issue when I was a kid.

My challenge to myself in this next year is to fall in love with creation again. To try and see life through the eyes of a child and be captivated by what I see and do each day. I hope to see God in everything and in everyone. And maybe I am being too much of a dreamer in all this, but who cares. Kids get so much more than we do. It's like we grow up and forget to have fun, real fun, forget the joy in playing, forget to enjoy the little things. Well no more. Laura the nanny has some childlike tendencies that she thinks will be a good thing to bring back.